Being a private person does have advantages.
As an introvert, I tend to keep things to myself. And over the years, I’ve found that it helps me connect with the right people. It’s also better in terms of mental health.
Partly because of social media, we have become convinced it’s perfectly fine to share things about our personal life not just with our friends, but with the whole world.
Some people even believe they are supposed to do so. But does that make us happier? Probably not.
In today’s article we’ll have a look at the eight advantages of being a private person, which personality types tend to be more reserved, and a few easy tips to be more private. If you like this article or would like to share your own thoughts, please leave a comment at the end of the page.
Benefits of being a private person
1. Less pressure to conform
Never expect people to understand your choices in life. It’s nice when they do, and it may even be likely if they’re your partner or a close friend, but you still shouldn’t assume they will automatically share your goals and views.
Each of us has a different path in life and sometimes the best thing you can do is keep your mouth shut and never reveal your outlook to anyone.
Why? Because the more you share your ideas, the more negative criticism you will face, the more you’ll feel the need to conform.
Say your dream is to pick an unusual career path. If you let everyone know, you’ll probably end up changing your mind, simply because most people will tell you to choose the safer route.
Same when it comes to your relationships, goals, political views, spirituality, and so on. You can (and probably want to) share these things with the people you love, but don’t share them with everyone else.
2. Protection from energy vampires
There are people who tend to feed off your energy.
Whether you see this from a psychological or spiritual point of view, the result is the same: we interact with a vampire and suddenly our energy levels are lower, our mood changes, and we may even experience physical symptoms such as headaches — while the other person feels better.
You can read my article about all the main types and ways to protect yourself here, but for the purpose of today’s post, just keep in mind that being a private person will help you dodge them.
The more information they have about your private life, the more chances they’ll have to mess with your emotions and ultimately feed off your mental energy. Be a private person and protect yourself.
3. Protection from naysayers
Similarly, you want to make sure your energy won’t be affected by those who hate their life and do anything they can to ensure you hate yours, too.
Not all naysayers have bad intentions but in order to maintain a positive attitude, you want to be as private and as secretive as possible.
Regardless of what you want to be, do, or have in life, naysayers will always find a way to turn it into a negative.
They’ll tell you what you have done (or plan on doing) is impossible, or silly, or unrealistic. Or whatever they come up with. if you never share your plans with them, you’ll never have to deal with their toxic criticism.
4. No need to lie about anything
According to a study about human communication involving a thousand Americans, on average people tell 1.65 lies each day. Now, a thousand people isn’t that many, and paradoxically these people may have lied about lying.
But that’s still quite a high number. The truth is that, even without any kind of scientific studies, it’s safe to say people lie quite a lot — and that sometimes they simply have to.
One of the benefits of being a private person is that the number of lies you have to tell automatically decreases, which means less stress and anxiety.
As a private person, you’ll rarely have to lie to make others happy or show that you fit in. You simply keep things to yourself and that contributes to an overall easier life.
5. Less time spent on social media
The more you post about your personal life on social media, the more others will “reward” you with likes and comments about your personal life, the more frequently you’ll post, and it can quickly turn into a vicious cycle.
Even worse, you may learn to associate your identity and self-worth with what you post online and therefore feel the need to change your habits based on what others like.
Subconsciously, we all feel the need to be liked by others — it’s one of the basic needs of us human beings.
Social media, unfortunately, tends to exacerbate this, and if you develop the habit of sharing your life online, it could have negative effects on your mental health. Be a bit more private and save yourself from unnecessary stress.
6. Easier to change your identity
Nothing to do with buying fake passports on the deep web.
Changing your identity simply means that you have the freedom to create a new you, perhaps after a spiritual rebirth, or after you’ve moved to a new city, or because you have set a new goal and you know you need to become a better person in order to achieve it.
The more you let others know about your personal life, the more your identity will be based on what you think others think about you.
I’ll repeat — what you think others think about you. This means less freedom to change, even when that change could be the most important thing in your life.
7. More safety
This has more to do with using common sense in general, but it’s still something to keep in mind. The seventh benefit of being a private person is that you’ll be less vulnerable.
When it comes to your money and assets, it always makes sense not to share too much information with others.
And when it comes to your own political views, or views about life in general, you should still resist the temptation to share them with everyone because you never know how people may react.
8. Better friendships and relationships
And lastly, being a private person will dramatically increase your chances of finding and being surrounded by those you can truly connect with, rather than having a thousand friends who can barely remember your name.
It takes time to get to know people. There is no need to be super friendly with those you don’t really relate to.
Being a bit more private allows you to take your time and see if the other person is actually the kind of person you want to spend your time with. You can always share things about your personal life later on.
Which personality type is the most private?
Although anyone can choose not to share too much about their beliefs and personal life, certain personality types are more inclined to being private.
The first major distinction is between extroversion and introversion.
While extroverts (those who direct their mental energy outward) are more likely to express their emotions as well as whatever goes on in their personal life, even with strangers — introverts usually prefer to be more reserved; they rarely tell others about their personal life, and when they get asked, they prefer to be vague.
Then, we could say that among introverts, those who are intuitive (for example, INFPs or INFJs in the Myers-Briggs theory) are even more likely to be secretive. Intuitives are more oriented toward future possibilities and new ideas rather than what they perceive through their five senses.
For this reason, some of their ideas can be very abstract, creative, or innovative, to the point where most people wouldn’t be able to understand them. It is likely, then, that the intuitive introvert gradually learns to keep things to themselves in order not to be seen as “the crazy one”, and only reveals their plans and ideas to those he or she can fully trust.
In an interview, psychologist Carl Jung talked about this while giving a brief description of the intuitive introvert type. Here are his words:
One of the most difficult types is the intuitive introvert. The introvert variety is more difficult because he has intuitions as to the subjective factor, namely the inner world, and of course that is very difficult to understand. What he sees are the most uncommon things, and he doesn’t like to talk about them if he’s not a fool. He would spoil his own game by saying what he sees, because people wouldn’t understand it.
If the intuitive introvert spoke about what he really perceives, then practically nobody would understand him; he would be misunderstood. And so they learn to keep things to themselves, and you hardly ever hear them talk of these things.
Tips to be a private person
- Realize people don’t need to know everything about you. Seriously, they don’t. It’s not like there’s a rule that says you need to share everything with everyone. You decide what belongs to your private life and what doesn’t. Some people may be 100 percent comfortable talking about things like their finances or relationships, but it doesn’t necessarily apply to you.
- Use social media wisely. It can be a useful tool for both socializing and business/work, but the truth is that most people simply spend too much time on it, and think they’re supposed to post pictures and videos of everything they do; as if their profile was the equivalent of their real life. But this is a risky way to use social media, especially because you never know who’s going to see or share your posts.
- Be vague or simply refuse to talk about certain topics. If you ever have to deal with intrusive questions, the best strategy is to just be vague — give boring, simple answers without being too defensive. You could also state that you simply don’t like to talk about certain topics, as a rule, and hopefully the other person will understand.
- Choose your friends wisely. There’s things you may want to hide from everyone, but when you do share facts about your personal life, do so with a close friend or someone you can truly trust. I believe it always pays off to be a bit more selective when it comes to friendships.
Are you a private person? Does that make your life easier? Let me know by leaving a reply below 👇