You may feel like you don’t belong anywhere if you are very independent and intuitive. Those who are more mature, mentally and spiritually, also tend to feel like they don’t belong.
On the flip side, you may feel like you don’t belong if you think you are better than others, or if you are a bit too selfish, or suffer from perfectionism.
Let’s have a look at the eleven potential reasons you might feel you don’t belong anywhere or find it difficult to connect to others emotionally.
The feeling like you don’t belong can be a blessing or a curse, and it can originate from positive or negative states of being, so it’s important to be honest with yourself and see the root of the “issue”.
See if any of these resonate with you…
You may feel you don’t belong anywhere if you…
1. Cultivate independent thinking
It’s very easy to do what others do; there is no thinking required. It’s much harder to look within, pause, and reflect, and then do what comes from your own heart rather than society’s.
If you belong to the tiny percentage of people who cultivate independent thinking, and like to be independent in general, at times you may feel like you don’t really belong anywhere.
2. Haven’t seen enough of the world
Perhaps there is a community, a culture, a country where everyone is like you (not literally but in the sense that they will share most of your values and traits).
Guess what, you will never know unless you get out of your old, dusty comfort zone and see more of the world. Move and travel as much as possible and chances are eventually you’ll find the place you belong to.
3. Enjoy your own company
I love solitude. Most introverts do. If you love it as well, you have to make sure you don’t turn into a bit of a recluse. Nothing wrong with the occasional hermit mode, just don’t get used to it.
After all, you have to give yourself the chance to meet those who are meant for you, who understand you and can relate. Not going to happen if you live in isolation.
4. Are into spirituality
Few things in life are as liberating, and as wonderful, as having reached a higher level of awareness, particularly from a spiritual point of view. There is a price to pay though.
The price is the feeling that you don’t belong anywhere. Spirituality shows you the essence of things — people don’t see that. This is why those who have spiritual awakenings tend to lose some or all of their old friends.
5. Are smarter than average
You have probably noticed that, on average, intelligent people don’t mind being alone and don’t crave social interactions as much as those with average intelligence.
And there are scientific studies that seem to prove this, too. It’s not that highly intelligent people have a superiority complex — rather, they find it difficult to communicate and share their ideas with others.
6. Are more mature than average
Competitiveness, gossiping, consumerism, mindless distractions, drinking, anything that inflates our ego — almost all of us are drawn to these in one way or another, but mature people eventually lose interest.
If you are more mature than those around you, it can be hard to feel a sense of belonging because the very things that appeal to immature people mean absolutely nothing to you.
7. Dream, then dream some more
Dreamers and visionaries are often so intuitive and creative that they end up living in their own world, and then find it difficult to belong to the “real” world where everyone else lives.
Some of the greatest artists, thinkers, and visionaries in history were basically loners and probably felt they didn’t really belong anywhere, both in a good and bad way.
On the flip side, you may feel you don’t belong if you…
8. Think you are better than others
Even if you tend to be smarter than most people, you should never compare yourself to them in terms of better/worse or superior/inferior. You may be different — but that’s it.
Never fall into the trap of thinking you are better than others because people can feel that and will behave accordingly, and you’ll feel even more left out at that point.
9. Take too much, give too little
Selfishness can also make you feel like you don’t belong. All human connections are based on a healthy exchange of energy, both in the spiritual and in the material world.
Any form of imbalance will naturally cause problems in the way you interact with others. Keep in mind, this could be giving too little, or the opposite — giving too much to the point you are drained.
10. Expect others to be flawless
This is a form of perfectionism, which is always inner and outer. Meaning: perfectionists expect very high standards from others as well as themselves, often in an unhealthy way.
Naturally, people feel intimidated around those who are inflexible — again, with others as well as themselves. If you ever find yourself being a bit of a control freak, work on that because it makes it very hard to feel like you belong anywhere.
11. Expect others to always like you
Lastly, don’t always expect people to smile and hug you and agree with everything you say. Friendships and relationships are not based on that, and if they are, then they are too fragile to last.
If you feel like you don’t belong anywhere because you haven’t yet found a person or group that is exactly like you and totally likes you, it’s time to change the way you think.
Feeling like you don’t belong: best quotes
Loneliness does not come from having no people about one, but from being unable to communicate the things that seem important to oneself, or from holding certain views which others find inadmissible.Carl Jung
We’ve all been in positions where we felt out of place or not accepted for whatever reason. For me, that’s been my life. I’ve always been that person that stood out. And what makes you an outcast is what makes you unique, and you should harness that.André Mack
I always felt like an outcast at school. I had good friends, but none that I truly related to.Amber Heard
Fitting in allows you to blend in with everyone else, but being different allows you to be yourself, to be unique and to be more creative.Sonya Parker
Build your world around your dreams rather than trying to fit your dreams into the world you know.Alan Cohen
The one who follows the crowd will usually get no further than the crowd. The one who walks alone is likely to find himself in places no one has ever been.Albert Einstein
As I child I felt myself to be alone, and I am still, because I know things and must hint at things which others apparently know nothing of, and for the most part do not want to know.Carl Jung
There is something inherently valuable about being a misfit. It’s not to say that every person who has artistic talent was a social outcast, but there is definitely a value for identifying yourself differently and being proud that you are different.Daniel Redcliffe
The reward for conformity is that everyone likes you but yourself.Rita Mae Brown
Want to share your thoughts?
I have felt like I didn’t really belong anywhere most of my life. I like to think it’s because of my good personality traits only, though I do realize this can’t be the case.
What helped me the most was the ability and the willingness to travel and leave my comfort zone — I mentioned this in the second reason, at the beginning of the post.
Because eventually you will find the environment and the people that are meant for you (provided your current feelings and situation aren’t self-inflicted); it just takes a little bit longer for some.
And you? If you also feel like you don’t belong and would like to share your thoughts/experience, please do so by leaving a reply below 👇