Tired of being single? Tired of dating the wrong people?
What you’ve been doing so far probably doesn’t work.
But it’s never too late to change your attitude, perspective, and mindset — and it’s precisely these three things that make all the difference.
It always starts with you. Even when it comes to love and relationships.
The importance of self esteem
Before you even think of finding the right person, you must first look at your own self esteem.
Do you see yourself as the kind of person who deserves love and affection? Do you deserve to meet someone who genuinely cares about you?
This is a key concept when it comes to life in general, not just relationships.
Our subconscious mind automatically decides what we can and cannot experience based on our core beliefs.
If you believe you are worthy of love, you’ll probably find it.
If you believe the opposite, then even if you do meet someone who cares about you, you’ll almost always find ways to self sabotage.
This is why you see people getting approached by the nicest, most caring potential partners yet always choose to date toxic people instead.
Sure, there may be other reasons they do so, but usually the main reason is lack of self esteem — these people believe (consciously or subconsciously) that they do not deserve to be loved.
To attract the right person, always work on your mindset first. It really is crucial.
The importance of your environment
Alright, next: is it even possible for you to meet new people — ideally like-minded people?
If you’re honest with yourself, and the answer is no, then you need to change your environment.
Changing the way you think is usually number one. But in some cases, you may not have access to the kind of environment where you can meet the right person (or new people in general).
Don’t overlook these first two points because, to be fair, that’s all it boils down to.
Once you’ve developed the mindset where you know you deserve a great relationship, and once you get the chance to meet new people more often, it’ll probably happen.
Let’s now have a look at five practical tips to increase your chances of success.
How to find someone who cares about you
1. Define what you really want
Obviously, you’re reading this article because you’d like to find the right person.
But have you ever taken the time to actually define what that would mean to you?
Is it someone you can fully trust? Is it someone that makes you feel special, someone you can be the best version of yourself with? All of the above?
When setting goals and going after the things you want in life, clarity is power.
Now, when it comes to dating, it’s not like you can be 100 percent specific. But it definitely helps to imagine, and visualize, the type of person you want to attract and be attracted to.
If you take the time to do this, you may be surprised to find that the right person for you isn’t the type of person you’ve been looking for so far.
2. Learn to spot the red flags
Literally all partners who are insensitive or abusive, or simply not the right people, have red flags.
A relationship doesn’t become a toxic relationship overnight.
And even when someone pretends to care about you (e.g. love bombing from a manipulative partner), you can tell whether their feelings are genuine or not.
It’s not always easy to spot these red flags. But over time, you can learn to develop your intuition, and even learn to identify certain patterns or traits of narcissists, fake people, and so on.
Then, if you ever spot one of these, you want to say goodbye (or ghost, in the case where the other person is manipulative) literally as soon as possible.
Remember: you deserve the best. It’s not your job to fix anyone, especially if they don’t care about you.
3. Don’t be needy
Never confuse desire for neediness.
It’s great to get in touch with your feelings and emotions, and to be aware that you want to be in a fulfilling relationship.
It’s great to actively invest your time and energy so you can find the kind of partner you’re looking for.
But being needy is a completely different thing, and guess what, by being needy you actually attract people who don’t care about you.
Being needy only creates negative energy and insecurity. It makes you chase people — usually the wrong people.
Always remind yourself that although you want to meet the right person, you can be perfectly happy without them. You want them, but you don’t need them.
4. Don’t let the past define you
Haven’t found the right person so far? Have you attracted bad people in your life so far?
Good news — you are allowed to turn into a completely new person, with a completely new mindset.
Forget the past and know that it doesn’t have to define you or your circumstances.
Most people deliberately choose to identify with their past, every single day, simply because it works for them, or because it’s easy.
But you don’t have to. Especially if you’ve met narcissists, abusive partners, energy vampires, people who tried to use you.
Whether this was caused by your own attitude, or simply bad luck, remind yourself that the future can be different.
5. Be proactive
Provided you’re in the right environment (as explained earlier), be proactive and don’t always expect things to come to you.
Don’t expect to always be approached by potential partners. Learn to talk to people and be open to opportunities.
The more people you meet, the higher your chances of finding that special person. Be alone all the time and your chances will be close to zero.
You never know how, when, and where you’ll find someone who truly loves and cares about you. It could happen tomorrow. It could be someone you’ve already met.
Until it happens, be proactive and give people a chance to get to know you. And don’t be afraid to be a little vulnerable — being too guarded will get you nowhere.
- Until you learn to love yourself, you won’t be able to receive love from others; know that you are worthy of love
- Actively meet new people; be approachable, and give potential partners a chance; learn to spot the traits of those who are not meant for you
- Don’t be needy, and don’t chase anyone; know you will be happy regardless of your relationship status
- Don’t let the past define you; don’t let past relationships affect your idea of a relationship in the future