To protect your energy from narcissists, be emotionally detached and be your own source of love and approval.
Never fight against narcissists as your negative emotions will naturally become their source of energy.
Instead, prioritize your own peace of mind, set clear boundaries, and do your best to avoid them or even end all contact.
How narcissists drain your energy
Ever heard of energy vampires? These are individuals that, deliberately or unconsciously, feed off your energy.
It’s easy to spot energy vampires — if after each interaction your energy/happiness drops and theirs increase, that’s the red flag.
In a nutshell, narcissists are energy vampires too, and they happen to be very good at what they do.
Specifically, the narcissist will try to create energy imbalances and feed off negative energy by using any of the following:
- Conditional love
- Compulsive lying
- Creating drama
- Passive aggressive behavior
It’s important to realize that although theoretically anyone could fall prey to the narcissist’s tactics, emotionally vulnerable people are the ones at risk.
Narcissists feed off energy imbalances, but it’s hard to create imbalances if the other person is completely okay with who he/she is.
Working on your own self-esteem and self-worth is key when protecting your energy from narcissists — I’ll expand on this in a minute.
Why narcissists drain your energy
Fundamentally, it all stems from a deep sense of insecurity and emptiness in their soul.
It’s not just opportunism per se — as selfish/predatory behavior itself would not justify feeding off other people’s emotions.
Narcissists are unable to find peace in themselves, to be whole in themselves.
And their view of the world doesn’t allow the possibility of win-win situations and harmony in general; they see everything as a zero-sum game.
That’s why they end up living in their own world of lies and manipulation, a world where they’ll never feel good about themselves unless they take from others.
So ultimately, the narcissist is the true victim, as paradoxical as it may sound.
It doesn’t mean their behavior is justified; it doesn’t mean you should try to be kind and help them out.
You should simply accept their condition, as it is, and be as emotionally detached as possible.
How to protect your energy from a narcissist
1. Acknowledge their behavior
There is a difference between kindness and naivety. To protect yourself from narcissists, you first have to spot them.
This means accepting the truth, accepting the narcissist’s true nature and their intentions — regardless of their idealized image.
2. Be emotionally detached
The energy “exchange” between narcissists and their targets happens in the background; it’s spiritual rather than physical.
And as crazy as it may sound — if you don’t react emotionally, then there is nothing that the narcissist can feed on, which means they’ll leave you alone.
3. Be whole in yourself
Similarly, the narcissist won’t be able to drag you into their world of lies, manipulation, and conditional love if your self-esteem is already great.
If you are your own source of approval, if you have learned to love yourself without any ifs or buts, then who needs the narcissist’s approval?
4. Know narcissists don’t change
You have acknowledged the true nature/intention of the narcissist. That’s great. The next step is to also acknowledge that they won’t change.
Here’s the thing — the narcissist’s insecurities are almost always too deeply ingrained for them to want to change. So don’t waste your time.
5. Know your power
As mentioned in a previous post about narcissists: they need you — you don’t need them! Read it again and let it sink in.
The fifth tip to protect your energy from a narcissist is to wake up and realize that you are in control — you are the source of energy, not the narcissist!
6. Cultivate positivity
It’s hard to drain the energy of those who have learned to focus on what they want. Why? Because their energy is channeled.
That’s what positive thinking is all about — being clear on what you invest your energy into. Cultivate a positive, focused attitude and you won’t be as vulnerable.
7. Never trust narcissists
Not all narcissists are compulsive liars, but given that narcissists live in their own hell where the truth is always distorted, they will probably lie.
For example, they may lie about who they are, or why they do what they do. Or make promises they won’t keep. The takeaway: never trust them.
8. Allow yourself to block them
The narcissist’s toxic and/or abusive behavior is absolutely a reason to block them and end all contact.
If this isn’t possible, then do your best to limit your interactions with them, online and offline. Which leads us to point number nine…
9. Learn to say no
Having clear boundaries is important in general, but even more so when dealing with narcissistic behavior.
Know what is okay and what isn’t, and give yourself permission to guard your time… and your energy. Without feeling guilty.
10. Don’t fight narcissists
Remember — narcissists feed off negative energy. By fighting against them, especially if investing emotional energy, you paradoxically give them what they want.
Instead, do your best to maintain a calm, detached attitude. Don’t fight them — ignore them. Replace anger and hurt with peace of mind.