Insecurity. Self-doubt. Self-pity. Sadness. Sorrow. Hopelessness.
If you’re reading this, and think you are “pathetic”, you may be experiencing all these negative emotions.
And whether your thoughts and feelings are justified, know that you have the power to change.
To stop feeling pathetic, cultivate discipline and positive thinking, and know that you are responsible for your own life. Choose to focus on your strengths and take action, and you’ll never feel pathetic again.
“Why am I so pathetic?”
Because you choose to be pathetic. Ultimately, it all comes down to a choice.
A thousand therapy sessions will not heal someone’s depression unless they choose to cultivate happiness.
Life’s greatest gifts will not make anyone feel fulfilled unless they choose to appreciate them and be grateful.
The best connections or opportunities will never lead to success if someone chooses to self sabotage.
And so on. You get the point. Perhaps it’s not what you wanted to hear, but it’s the truth.
I’ll expand on this in a minute, but for now, know that your own decisions — conscious and subconscious — play a role in virtually everything you do in life.
Feeling pathetic vs being pathetic
Here’s another way of looking at it: no one is actually pathetic. You may feel pathetic, but does it reflect the truth?
“It ain’t all sunshine and rainbows”, and we all go through phases in life. We all experience periods of sadness, frustration, or lack of enthusiasm.
And we all feel pathetic from time to time. Maybe not all of us. But the vast majority.
Only, you never hear people complain about that because no one likes to be vulnerable. No one likes to communicate weakness or insecurity.
We’ve all felt miserable at some point in our life. This doesn’t translate to a miserable life; it doesn’t mean we are miserable people.
If you feel pathetic right now, have a look at the following tips…
How to stop being pathetic
1. Accept responsibility
I’ll say it one more time — you are responsible for your own physical and mental wellbeing regardless of your circumstances.
You are responsible for the way you treat others (and yourself) regardless of your attitude or personality type.
This means that it all starts with a choice. If you feel pathetic, it may be because you’ve chosen the easier option.
You may have chosen to play victim, to do the least, to let your current situation define you.
So from this day forward, decide. Each morning when you wake up, decide that you will be happy, that you will focus on the good and make it grow.
2. Don’t compare yourself to others
Compare yourself to other people (especially strangers on social media) and you are guaranteed to feel miserable. And pathetic.
People with a healthy self-esteem never compare themselves to others. They may be inspired by others, but they are too focused on their own life to envy someone else’s.
To give you an idea of how dangerous the cycle of comparison can be, you could be the top one percent at anything and still look at those who are better than you.
I’ve seen this countless times. You wouldn’t believe how many people have literally everything yet choose to agonize over other people’s successes.
3. Focus on your strengths
What you focus on grows. Anything you give energy to will absorb that energy and grow bigger. Anything you ignore will shrink.
This is why, typically, the best strategy to disarm someone isn’t to fight them, but to ignore them completely, as if they didn’t exist.
So here’s tip number three: focus on your strengths, your good traits, your achievements, your beauty.
Focus on being pathetic and you’ll stay the same, at best. Focus on the things that make you great and you’ll be on a path to greatness.
Put simply, your entire life is what you focus on. There is an infinite amount of things you can direct your energy toward, so you may as well choose those that are inspiring.
4. Develop discipline
Being pathetic and discipline cannot exist simultaneously. Those who are disciplined enough can do virtually everything and anything, so they can’t be pathetic.
And the only reason being more disciplined seems daunting is, we assume it has to happen overnight. Or we assume it’s “in our genes” — either you are disciplined or you’re not.
In reality, discipline is exactly like a muscle, and the best way to practice is to start with the smaller weights and work your way up, gradually.
So if you haven’t already, develop habits that increase your discipline and willpower.
Tiny habits like eating healthier, or making your bed in the morning, or not hitting the snooze button five times. They are powerful.
5. Change your environment
Does your environment inspire you to be the best you can be? Do the people around you motivate you? Or do they make it easy for you to remain in your comfort zone?
I believe everyone should experience at least one profound change in their life, and the easiest way to do that is to leave everything behind and go for a fresh start.
You don’t have to turn into an extreme minimalist. You don’t have to say goodbye to your friends and family.
But there is something magical about changing your environment, going where you are celebrated, letting go of the old to embrace the new.
As our environment changes, we change. If your current environment makes you feel pathetic, perhaps it’s time to change.
6. Be healthy and look good
I think people tend to underestimate the importance of the body, especially in Western cultures.
By being as healthy as you can be, by treating your body as your most precious asset, you are also saying to yourself that you love and respect yourself, that you matter, that you are important.
And others will notice that. This alone can do wonders for your self-esteem.
Eat nourishing food. Take long walks. Exercise, and make it fun. Get a relaxing massage. Take care of your skin. Because you deserve to feel great and look great.
7. Do your best and be proud
Whenever you feel pathetic, do. It doesn’t matter what — just do. Life isn’t about reaching success or avoiding failure; it’s about doing.
Anything you do to stop being pathetic, to have a better life, to become a better person is already a success.
In this sense, you could see being pathetic as inaction, or being stuck in the mind. The opposite of that is action, expression, doing. Regardless of the outcome.
You can only be pathetic if you don’t do, if you don’t try. Be the person who takes action. Each time you take action, be proud, because that’s all that matters.