After a spiritual awakening, we may lose friends because our priorities, interests, and values in life are likely to change. Spiritual awakenings bring profound changes, and it’s not easy to share our feelings with friends who have not had similar spiritual experiences.
I myself had what you could call a spiritual awakening a while ago, and I lost some friends as a result of that.
At the time, it felt like a loss. And it was. But I then realized that losing friends during a spiritual awakening, at least in my case, was inevitable.
And although my new level of awareness meant some people had to go, it also and most importantly meant that new, special people would come into my life.
Keep reading…
Spiritual awakenings are rare
Only a tiny percentage of human beings will actually experience a spiritual awakening.
It’s impossible to say how many. But let’s say roughly one in a thousand.
Assuming that’s close to the truth, then after a spiritual awakening you will be part of that 0.1 percent. That’s a pretty small percentage, isn’t it?
This alone means it will be harder for you to find close friends, because close friends are people we truly connect and share our values with.
During a spiritual awakening, your life changes. And although in terms of outward appearance you may be the same, you literally turn into a different person.
Your purpose in life becomes clear; your hobbies change, your habits change. Everything changes!
But how do you communicate that to friends who are not spiritual at all? It’s impossible.
Spiritual awakenings are rare, and when you do experience one, you’re going to be part of that small percentage of people.
A spiritual awakening doesn’t imply you’ll lose your old friends, of course. But being part of that small percentage, you may find it harder to connect with them (and vice versa).
Old friends were meant for the old you
The truth is that we tend to lose friends each and every time we change.
If you’ve ever moved to a different state or country, you know it’s easy to lose friends simply because of the distance. That’s obvious, right?
But change could be… anything. It could be a new relationship, a new career, the fact that you’ve become more mature.
It could be that you’re into personal growth and no longer want to spend time with people who are unmotivated.
You may change your diet or lifestyle and realize you no longer want to interact with friends who have a completely different life than yours.
It may be a painful process. It may be awkward. It may take you a while to say goodbye to friends who are no longer right for you.
But at the end of the day, it’s pretty common. It happens to most of us. Almost all of us.
Old friends were meant for the old you. If you’ve changed (and spiritual awakenings always lead to profound changes), then it’s time to embrace the new you.
Why we lose friends after a spiritual awakening
Alright — these are, in my opinion, the five main reasons we may lose friends after we’ve awakened.
Can you think of other reasons, or would you like to share your own experience? If so, please leave a reply at the end!
1. We learn to appreciate solitude
First of all: spiritual people tend to love solitude. That’s one of the common traits of those who work on their spirituality.
Not only that, spiritual awakenings usually happen when we are on our own.
Different people will have different experiences, obviously. But a spiritual awakening is something so intimate, so profound, that it often requires solitude.
And once we learn that solitude can actually be pretty powerful for spiritual growth and personal growth in general, we may become more selective in terms of who we want to spend our time with.
2. Our language becomes too subjective
You’ve had a spiritual awakening. You’ve (metaphorically) seen things, you’ve reached a higher level of awareness.
But how do you explain these things?
If you use the kind of language used by everyone else, you probably won’t be able to express your thoughts and ideas.
So you need to use a different language. Your own words. Which are likely to be highly symbolic, or just plain weird.
And others will notice that. And think you’re a little strange (unless they’ve experienced an awakening themselves).
3. Our values are not the same anymore
After a spiritual awakening, our values and priorities in life usually change as well.
Things we had zero interest in suddenly become intriguing, irresistible; and things we enjoyed for years no longer seem so attractive.
So if our friendship was based on some of these things, the friendship may fade out.
Our friends may have been like-minded people in the past, but perhaps after our spiritual awakening we no longer share the same views, and they are not like minded anymore.
4. We are serious about protecting our energy
In my post about the traits of spiritual people I’ve written that physical health is one of these traits.
After a spiritual awakening, we become much more aware of what nourishes our energy (and what blocks it). We also realize that our body, mind, and soul are always interconnected.
With this new awareness, we naturally welcome people and things that raise our vibration, and avoid people and things that lower it.
If our friends do the latter, then we may decide to stop seeing them for a while, and that may lead to the friendship fading out.
5. We know the truth yet we can’t explain it
It can be incredibly frustrating to have a spiritual awakening, and discover truths we never even thought about… and not be able to communicate those truths to others.
Mind you, I’m not suggesting spiritual awakenings make you reach the truth. There is no such thing anyway. But you do reach your own truths. Which are equally important.
And if you share those truths, most people either think you’re crazy or simply don’t understand. Which is… understandable.
There are exceptions, of course. But in general, we cannot expect our friends to understand our language, our words, our ideas after a spiritual awakening. And it can be daunting.
The reason people come and go in life is because life is a journey and we are all traveling to different destinations based on our individual life choices, and when paths cross, people who are not meant to be with you on the remaining journey drop off like passengers.
Unknown
You lose friends to find new ones
Losing friends, no matter why or how, can leave us with feelings of sadness, emptiness, and disappointment.
But here’s the thing: when a friendship comes to an end, that’s a sign new ones will begin.
As Paulo Coelho would say: “if you’re brave enough to say goodbye, life will reward you with a new hello”.
It’s true: those who have spiritual awakening can feel lonely.
It can be lonely going through so much, such an intense period of your life, and not being able to share your feelings with others — including your friends.
But it’s a good thing. Because now you have the opportunity to connect with the best people, people who were truly meant to be on your same path.
And it doesn’t really matter if you’ll only have a few friends. They’ll be true friends. Quality always beats quality anyway.
Have you lost friends after a spiritual awakening?
Since you’re reading this article, I assume you’ve had an awakening as well, whatever it meant for you.
If so, did your experience the same? Did you lose friends as a result of a higher level of awareness, a higher version of yourself?
Feel free to leave a reply below — I’m curious to hear your experience…
It happened yesterday, everything clicked. I’ve been feeling it for years, and it made me feel lonely and misunderstood, and now I feel like it all makes sense. And since it hit me, it won’t stop, it’s everywhere in everything and everything is connected and I’m a part of it. And you’re a part of it too. And all I can think of is that I need to find the others.
That’s awesome 🙂
Those moments when you feel “it all makes sense now” are totally enlightening, makes you think of retrocausality (future events affecting the past), whether it’s real or not.
Yes. 🙂
Yes, it was hard because I still have love for them. But at the same time I just knew it was time to let go after trying to hold onto the friendship as long as possible. We just dont share the same values/beliefs/even interests anymore so conversations felt super forced and unnatural. Honestly wish them nothing but the best though.
I’ve had to say goodbye to 4 of my best friends when I awakened. Met my twin flame, separated, went through another levelling up, need to let go of four more of my best friends now. I feel like i’m close to getting into full union as well as i’m living my mission now.. so yes, it’s difficult because how do i explain to someone that i love them with all my heart but they do not make me happy as a friend because of their beliefs, insecurities or behavior and i love them too much to keep them in my life and for them to feel unloved by me because they Will feel the disconnect more and more? I can’t. So the endings have been pretty quick, and i wish for them to forgive me one day.
Hi Therese,
it happened quite suddenly for me as well. Those around you may not understand what it means to awaken or what it implies in terms of friendships, but they can probably sense that you have become a different person, in a good way.
So really, I think it’s not about forgiving but rather acceptance… people go through phases in life regardless of spirituality, and friends can grow apart, and you can’t always explain everything to them.
I definitely lost contact with many people in general after awakening and lost quite lot of friends as well. I must say, my spiritual awakening pushed myself into a whole re-shaping of my entire life, and the process which quite gradual, pushed me to start following new life practices, routines and approaches and that made me feel very alone. Because I’ve suddenly lost complete interest on hanging out as I used to do my entire youth time (I’m still 28, so still quite young), flirting, going to clubs, surround myself to certain people, or just share my life on social media became all practices and activities of an old me. I stopped using (barely) social media, stop doing all those young popular activities, stop drinking alcohol, and started attending the synagogue to convert to Judaism instead. From hanging out in bars, I preferred to attend spiritual teaching classes, from drinking a beer I preferred to attend some sports classes. I definitely changed my life so much, started valuing being alone to feel my spirituality and the divinity of my surroundings, and stop meeting, talking, calling etc with many people specially from past life periods (which after my spiritual awakening kind of all of them become past life people). Instead, the people I started meeting and be with, are spiritually more connected, sharing the path of faith conversion I’ve chosen, or rather inducing myself into intellectual debates or conversations, sharing different activities that are not based only on night and alcohol. When you awake, you realize most of the people is around you because they want to share the “fun” society has created the idea that is about (clubs, alcohol, conversations about dates, shopping time, materialistic concept of travel with the aim to show others on social media..) i was into all of that, and people where there to either gossip, laugh with me, share that fun / banal activities… now that I lost complete interest in any of them, and I am completely focused on deeper self changes and interior travel, not in the external world of matrix appearance, yes all of them fade out. And yes, it is surely scary, to loss contact with so many people. But after many months of my awakening I’m realizing that at the end being more lonely allows you more space for your spiritual growth and understanding, that it’s best few people who are real and add more intellectual and spiritual value into your life, who also share your new life values with you, than to be surrounded all the time with people who stayed in your last stages of existence and seem completely uncapable to catch up to any sort of spiritual matter. Life keeps going after all, and shows you how little necessary are others and the external circumstances in order for you to keep going. More often than less, people and external circumstances can play a role of getting you more stuck than allowing you to grow. So don’t be fearful to take all the necessary distance even if it’s an irremediably one, and also if people loss interest in your new you, acknowledge they were there in a non authentic manner, and they are losing the chance to learn all you’ve been through directly from you. New better people will value your teachings and will make you feel more understood and supported. Until then, trust your fate, and keep awaking for a better more enlightened life.
Hi, thank you for sharing your experience/thoughts.
Yes, what society calls fun is more often than not a distraction, and is done as a result of negative feelings rather than positive ones.
Eventually you realize that people tend to do things mostly out of fear rather than joy, e.g. gossip so they don’t feel lonely, drink so they don’t have to think, post pictures to look cool, copy whatever others do out of fear of not fitting in.
It has been said that spirituality is about the freedom to choose, to act rather than react. Those who reach a higher level of awareness follow their heart rather than “normality” and naturally that can lead to feelings of isolation.
But then again, like you said solitude can be liberating as it allows you to connect with new people and let go of the old. I feel it’s often an uncomfortable but necessary step.
I think I can relate to this. But I’m not sure if I had a ‘real’ spiritual awakening.
Last year a lot changed for me: I burned out because of lockdown and my job, and it forced me to turn inward. I discovered that I did a lot of things that didn’t make me happy: drinking a lot, scrolling through social media, never go into nature, etc.
I changed all of these things. I still drink alcohol, but not so much (it doesn’t make me feel good anymore anyway), I deleted social media, I walk into nature daily. And I started meditating and yoga. This definitely helped me discover a deeper level of awareness. I am now able to observe my thoughts and feelings, rather than reacting to them. I now see what my learned behaviors and coping mechanisms are. It’s a really powerful tool to be able to do this, but it does make me feel lonely sometimes, because I also see a lot of ‘broken’ things in the behavior of my friends, which makes me want to distance myself from them sometimes.
As an example there is a lot of drinking involved in my group of friends. Since I drink less I see a lot of these people less, because alcohol is actually the glue of our group. I never realized that, but now I do. Also, a lot of female friends in our group are very active on social media. There is this whole competition going on about who has the most friends and who does the most social things. I don’t think they even realize this, but I’m sure it’s true.
I just feel detached from a lot of people. I feel like I only have two or three friends left, who aren’t spiritual either, so I don’t level with them completely. I really hope I’m going to meet some new friends soon.
this year, i met a new friend and introduced her into our friend group. she is very spiritual and when i started changing my whole life and practicing spirituality she always understands. i also has another friend who i was friends with for 5 years. the 5 year friendship failed when i became spiritual because she was a constant cloud of negativity. the friendship was built upon talking bad about other people and complaining but spirituality made me so much more happy and peaceful and i didn’t get the urge to indulge in useless negative talk. i learnt my self worth and called her out on what she was doing wrong to me and she couldn’t take it. i knew it then that we weren’t meant to be friends and that im not the person who was best friends with her anymore and i’m not even upset about it. i’m just glad i met new people and got rid of old friendships which no longer served a purpose.
I had my first spiritual awakening when I was 15. I spent a good 10 years distracting myself with the intoxicants of society. I’m 25 now, and have been falling deep into my conscious and subconscious self, and feel more lonely than ever. I’ve already been traveling the world for the last 6 years, saying goodbye to many friends. Now I’m saying goodbye to a whole group of people for reasons related to my spiritual development, and simultaneously feeling so overwhelmed in the city. I just need to get out of here and I need to find like-minded people who I can relate on these things with. I need to find a culture and a community, anywhere in the world, that I can feel at home with. Where I can feel comfortable raising my future children. Spiritual development can be incredibly overwhelming at times (like it is today). I basically have a clean slate and looking for an entirely new community of people to share experiences and stories with, and most importantly, provide each other support. Find me on Instagram if you’d like to connect 💙 instagram.com/thebalanced.blue/