Yep. It’s literally, technically, universally impossible to be liked by everyone.
Some will understand and appreciate you. Some won’t. You’re not going to change this, the same way you can’t change gravity.
However, this is a good thing. Not being liked by everyone means you are unique and special; it means you are a human being — a perfectly imperfect one.
Not everyone will like you, but it doesn’t matter because your self-esteem is purely the result of a decision to feel good about yourself. It’s internal rather than external.
Not everyone will like you, here’s why
Ever met one of those individuals who do nothing but look for imperfections, flaws, and negativity in everything and everyone — including you?
Ever met people who constantly create drama, who will find reasons to criticize others so they can feel a bit better about their own life?
Now, thankfully, that’s a very small percentage of the population. But still. This alone would explain why not everyone likes you regardless of who you are and what you do.
But it doesn’t end there. Much like the color scale is infinite, what we communicate and what we look for in others also creates endless possibilities.
To use this analogy, if you were the color orange then you would be looking for similar shades of orange, or perhaps colors that match you, such as light green.
However, red or purple wouldn’t be as appealing. Perhaps this example is a bit too abstract, but that’s pretty much how relationships and connections in life work.
Only those who “match” or “compensate” our state of being — you can also call it vibration, or mood, or personality — will truly and fully appreciate and understand us.
So why would you even try to please everybody? Why would you expect the whole world to like you? It’s impossible.
And if you think that fame and popularity will magically transform the way others look at you, make no mistake — fame attracts attention, not necessarily approval.
Not everyone will like you… but who cares?
Self-esteem is the foundation of happiness and confidence… but what is the foundation of self-esteem itself?
Though you could look for reasons as to why you matter, you are worthy, you deserve to be liked etc. that would still be a bit of a fragile foundation.
Believe it or not — one of the secrets of a healthy self-image is simply a decision, a choice, which doesn’t need to be based on any logic or evidence.
You are an amazing human being… period. For those who have learned to love themselves unconditionally, there are no ifs or buts, no conditions attached.
So at that point, who cares if someone doesn’t like, understand, or appreciate you? It makes no difference. You are still strong. You still know you matter.
Don’t get me wrong — we all like to be liked. We all love to be loved. It’s not just a want, but a need of us humans.
The issue is when our self-image — or even our identity — is vulnerable to the point where it depends on approval. The more vulnerable it is, the more we’ll seek approval.
And either realize that not everyone will like us, or discover that even if hypothetically we could get all the love and validation in the universe, we still wouldn’t feel that we are enough.
Why? Because it’d be an external source of validation. I know it’s cliche, but it does always start with you. Stop looking for approval — you alone hold the key.
How to accept that not everyone likes you
- Give yourself a reality check. Because sometimes a healthy dose of realism is all it takes to get rid of those demons in your head. Always remember the color analogy — no matter how bright and beautiful you are, some colors “match” and some don’t.
- Focus on (and cultivate) your strengths. You don’t need any reason to love yourself… but this doesn’t stop you from doing anything you can to be the best you can be. Work on yourself and invest in yourself and notice your self-confidence grow.
- See yourself as a character. Movies and cartoons usually idealize reality in some way. But think of movie characters, from heroes to villains: even they will never win everyone’s approval. Some think heroes are boring, and villains are awesome… or the opposite. You are the same!
- Keep things to yourself. Since not everyone will understand or appreciate you, you may as well learn to keep things to yourself until you feel you’re with the right person/people. I know: it can be frustrating. But it’s worth the wait.
- Change your environment. Lastly, consider meeting new friends if the environment you’re in doesn’t really allow you to connect with like-minded people. It’s normal — and healthy — to want to connect with people who appreciate you. So go where they are.
Not everyone will like you: quotes
If you want to achieve anything in this world, you have to get used to the idea that not everyone will like you.Simon Sinek
If people don’t like me for whatever I do, for being me, then that’s too bad. I don’t want to change to be something that I’m not for other people to like me.Vanessa Hudgens
Not everyone will understand you. Not everyone will appreciate you. Not everyone will embrace you. Do not change for them. Just smile at them, and move along.Jessica Hagy
When someone tells you that you are different, smile and hold your head up and be proud.Angelina Jolie
Speak your heart. If they don’t understand, the message was never meant for them anyway.Yasmin Mogahed
Psst — to see the full collection of 40 quotes, check out this post!