Depending on your personality type, there may be certain things you simply can’t tolerate. Introverts — those who are usually quiet and reserved — tend to hate drama, intrusive behavior, unexpected changes of plans, and, of course, misconceptions about their personality type.
Here are eleven things most introverted people just can’t stand…
1. Energy vampires and drama
Being bombarded with gossip, drama, and news can be mentally draining for everyone, however if you are predominantly an introvert, you simply won’t be able to tolerate it.
Someone who is extroverted typically doesn’t mind chit-chat, and may even enjoy talking or texting non-stop as they find it stimulating rather than draining. But for an introvert, talk about trivial matters is pointless; it’s a huge waste of time and energy.
Introverts in particular need to protect themselves from energy vampires, especially the most insidious ones. Whether it’s compulsive talkers, selfish parasites, or people who play victim all the time, their goal is to grab your attention and steal your time. And if you’re an introvert, you simply hate that.
2. Last-minute plans
Typically, introverts are very organized and like to plan things in advance, so a last-minute phone call or any unexpected change of plans can be very annoying for them.
Though life is unpredictable, and we all have to deal with unexpected events from time to time, the average introvert finds it difficult to “go with the flow” simply because someone else suddenly changed their mind, especially if out of selfishness or lack of respect.
And if the last-minute plan involves some kind of social event, an introvert will find it particularly annoying. Random social interactions may be the norm for most people, but not for introverts, who are very selective in terms of who they spend their time with.
3. Excessive noise
Many introverts tend to be highly sensitive, which means they find excessive external stimuli overwhelming. Noise in particular can trigger feelings of anxiety and stress, and drain their energy.
Conversely, silence can be a blessing for them. While most people find long periods of silence uncomfortable, if you’re an introvert chances are they give you a sense of calm and inner peace. If you’re predominantly an introvert, you probably don’t feel the need to hear sound all the time — in fact, you are likely to find it annoying.
Introverts love to spend time on their own and listen to their favorite songs, but excessive noise is a different story. People talking non-stop, loud music, and noisy crowds can be overwhelming for them.
4. People who think they’re arrogant
Because introverts generally like to spend time on their own, and rarely initiate conversations, they may come off as aloof and arrogant to someone who doesn’t know them. Some people think introverts somehow feel “superior” compared to others, but it couldn’t be further from the truth.
According to the psychological definition, introverts are individuals who direct their energy toward their inner world, rather than the external world; and to recharge, they need to spend time alone. But this doesn’t imply that they are sociopaths.
So whenever you are interacting with a very introverted person, do not assume that they are arrogant (even if you’re an introvert yourself; sometimes it’s easy to judge people based on their first impression).
5. People who think they’re stupid
Just like, ironically, those who are very knowledgeable about a certain subject are aware they know very little, while those who are completely ignorant think they know everything; similarly, thoughtful individuals may be labeled as stupid by those who can’t think deeply.
Because most introverts spend a lot of time thinking, yet say very little, those who aren’t aware of their thought processes may interpret their behavior as that of an unintelligent person.
The truth is that, as I’ve explained here, introverts are deep thinkers. According to some scientific studies, the brain of introverted people tends to process information slowly, but thoroughly. Those who are quiet and reserved may be slower, but it doesn’t mean they are stupid.
6. Small crowds
While some introverts feel uncomfortable in all crowded places, medium sized crowds are usually the ones that cause them the most anxiety.
To the average introvert, small groups of people are ideal; large events with hundreds or thousands of people are fine; but a party in a relatively small room may be overwhelming as they may feel trapped.
Introverts hate being forced to socialize with people who aren’t on the same wavelength, and while this could happen in any kind of event, small parties or crowds are the situation in which it’s more likely. Those who are quiet choose carefully where they socialize; any place where they may receive too much attention is usually too uncomfortable for them.
7. Being told they’re too quiet
“Why are you so quiet all the time?”, “You never say anything”, “You should talk more”. Introverts aren’t too quiet; it’s just the way they are, their personality, their attitude. It’s not like they are suffering from some kind of mental disorder.
An introvert can find it very annoying when someone tells them what they’re supposed to do (more on this later), particularly when it comes to talking. The average introvert doesn’t like meaningless conversations, so talking for the sake of talking isn’t one of the activities they excel at.
Now, people don’t ask them to talk more in order to make them feel uncomfortable; someone who is very quiet can be intimidating or, as we’ve seen, even come off as arrogant. However, a highly introverted person just hates when someone tells them to change their personality, or behavior.
8. Unexpected phone calls
Introverts value their time, and while reading a text message may only take a few seconds, a phone call could last for over an hour, so any call that isn’t necessary can be very annoying to them.
Unexpected phone calls are the worst (unless they are from a loved one, of course) and can cause them a lot of anxiety. Introverts hate it when their boss or colleagues call them to say there’s been a change of plans at the last minute, or some kind of negative event they couldn’t foresee.
If you are an introvert, I actually recommend you turn off your phone and become unreachable from time to time. It will make you more productive, more focused, and most importantly it will give you the chance to recharge.
9. Intrusive questions
For those who are reserved, chit-chat and meaningless conversations are bad enough, but questions about their personal life are literally the worst. A spontaneous, extroverted person may think it’s 100 percent fine to ask them whatever they like, but the truth is that some questions can cause unnecessary embarrassment and awkwardness.
Introverts can be very secretive, and questions about their personal life can be perceived as intrusive and disrespectful. When you interact with an introverted person, be friendly, but make sure you are not too friendly either, and don’t ask anything too directly.
If you ask an introvert about their relationships, friendships, health, career, etc. and you notice they feel intimidated, and give vague answers, it’s probably a good idea to talk about other topics instead.
10. Being told what they should do
A while ago I wrote an article where I listed the twelve benefits of being an introvert, and explained how introverts are likely to be crystal clear on their purpose and goals in life. With that in mind, it’s easy to see how being told what to do is a no-no for introverts.
Any phrase beginning with “you must” or “you should” can be very annoying for them because often the person who says that has no idea what their personality is. So for example, the other person may say they should go to parties more often without realizing that it’s terrible advice.
Introverts tend to be curious, and are happy to ask for guidance when they need it, however dealing with people who tell them what to do out of nowhere — whether they genuinely like to help, or simply want to inflate their ego — is not their cup of tea.
11. Bad listeners
The eleventh and final thing introverts absolutely hate is dealing with bad listeners — people who don’t listen to their thoughts and ideas, people who interrupt them as they are talking, or even those who pretend to listen but don’t really care.
In general, an introvert won’t open their mouth unless he or she has something relevant to say. For introverts, it’s all about meaningful conversations (or at least useful ones). So when they do speak, they expect other people to listen rather than look around and ignore them.
Those who talk, talk, talk and never actually take the time to listen — those are the kind of people introverts generally find annoying. And in general, introverts are the exact opposite: they are excellent listeners, though they don’t talk much…
Are you an introvert yourself? What is one thing that drives you crazy? Leave a reply below and let me know! 👇