Human beings are social animals.
Just like it’s important to surround yourself with those who love, inspire, and encourage you, you should also learn to recognize those who give off bad vibes and avoid them.
It’s been said that we are the average of the five people we spend the most time with.
And while that’s not always accurate, it gives you an idea of the importance of meaningful relationships — relationships that make you a happier and better person.
Is it OK to avoid certain people?
With that in mind, you need to be selective when socializing and interacting with others.
Not to the point where you reject anyone with a different personality, or different views (that’s a big mistake as well), but you do need to stay away from those who drain your energy or are simply a huge waste of time.
And even if you do have a lot of free time, it’s impossible to have a million friends, just like it’s impossible to have a million hobbies or projects.
Which is why you need to focus on quality rather than quantity, even when it comes to relationships.
Some types of people are simply annoying, and the occasional talk with them is okay.
But then there’s types you want to avoid at all costs because they can be a threat to your mental health, enthusiasm, and energy.
Let’s have a look at the fifteen types of people you want (and need) to avoid…
Types of people to avoid
This is the type of person who has a certain goal and is willing to sacrifice not just their own wellbeing for it, but also other people’s.
Determination is certainly a positive trait, but being an opportunist is a completely different thing.
Opportunists simply don’t take into account other people’s feelings and emotions; they are extremely selfish and think their objectives justify any kind of behavior.
You’ll rarely see this type of person have genuine friendships and relationships with others, simply because in their mind people are simply a tool.
Once you recognize them, you want to avoid them at all costs because sooner or later you’ll be disappointed.
At worst, opportunists will try to use or manipulate you; at best, they’ll ghost or abandon you simply because they don’t think you can help them achieve their plans.
The opportunist’s cynical attitude makes it impossible to befriend them anyway. If you care about your mental health, avoid them like the plague.
2. Fake friends
Opportunists can definitely fall into this category, but there’s many different types of fake friends, and some are particularly insidious.
We already have to deal with many enemies in life (including our own inner demons), and you really don’t want fake friends to take up additional space in your mind.
People seem to have forgotten that friendship is a matter of quality, not quantity — a few close, true friends are a million times better than a bunch of fake friends.
However, some feel insecure about their social life and believe the easiest way to fix that is to surround themselves with people, regardless of their traits or inclinations.
Fake friends, then, will feed off and take advantage of their insecurity, and ruin their mental health. And when the other person realizes they were interacting with a fake person, it’s usually too late.
So don’t be afraid to be a bit more selective when it comes to meeting people, and avoid anyone who looks and acts fake.
3. Jealous people
Those who are envious can’t stop thinking about others.
They need to compare their life to that of other people, obsessively, and somehow fail to realize that although there are people who are happier or better off than them — millions of others are in a much worse situation.
Jealous people have the tendency to focus on negative things (what they don’t have, and don’t like about themselves or others), and unfortunately it can be contagious.
Even worse, being friends with someone who is jealous could mean that, eventually, they’ll become jealous of your life as well and will do anything they can to sabotage your happiness.
Whether they’re a friend or a partner, their relationship with you (or anyone else) will rarely be healthy, simply because sooner or later all your positive qualities will turn into obsessive thoughts for them.
Until jealous people learn to deal with their own insecurities and toxic thought patterns, they won’t have the ability to have healthy relationships with others, and if that’s the case, you simply want to avoid them.
The fourth type of person you want to avoid at all costs is what you would call a “loser”.
Obviously, there is no clear definition for that — you decide who is a loser in life and who isn’t.
However, there’s two key traits of losers: they hate change; and hate success (again, you would need to define success first, but let’s just say it means living a fulfilling life and achieving your dreams).
Honestly, we all tend to dislike change, and it seems that our brains are actually designed to do so. However, a loser will be so stubborn, or insecure, to the point where they’ll reject any kind of change even when it’s obviously a positive thing.
This is a problem because it means that no matter who they surround themselves with, their own mindset will prevent them from growing.
And then losers hate success — they are envious of other people’s lives and always attribute success to luck, or bad intentions, or whatever excuse they can come up with.
Not the kind of person you want to interact with.
5. Those with an inflated ego
Ever had to deal with someone who was so self-absorbed, they couldn’t even notice those around them?
Those with a disproportionate ego are a serious threat to your mental health and, honestly, a complete waste of time and energy.
All kinds of relationships are supposed to be mutual — that is, when both people are able to give and receive.
The issue with self-absorbed people, then, is that they rarely focus their attention on others, and that almost always leads to empty relationships.
Plus, those who are egocentric find it difficult to be empathic — if you ever need to communicate your thoughts and feelings, it’ll seem an impossible task with them.
If someone thinks they’re the best at everything and anything, and needs to talk about their greatest achievements, constantly and compulsively — do yourself a favor and avoid them.
Whenever we work toward a certain goal, big or small, it’s relatively easy to lose motivation.
Our energy and willpower are very limited, and there’s always that little voice inside us telling us we can’t, shouldn’t, or won’t do it. And it’s not always possible to silence that voice.
We do, however, have the option to avoid naysayers — those who belittle our achievements and tell us to be cautious and never do anything great in life.
Sometimes they do that out of jealousy, and sometimes they are genuinely trying to protect us from some kind of risk that probably only exists in their own head.
But whatever the case, their toxic words have the power to influence our actions, which is why I encourage you to avoid anyone who hinders your growth and success (consciously or subconsciously).
Naysayers typically focus their attention on average people and average results (or their own), and tend to assume that the whole world is a reflection of that. So if you’re after big goals and dreams, they’ll probably try to discourage you.
Put simply, gossipers are insecure people.
They are so afraid of being judged or ridiculed, they’ll talk behind people’s back and say nasty things about them just so they can prove they’re above them.
Not all gossip is motivated by pure malice, but you’ll always find that there’s an element of insecurity or fear behind it.
Talk to someone who’s truly happy and confident and you’ll never hear a single word of gossip. Talk to someone who’s obsessed with what others think of them and it’ll be like reading a whole tabloid magazine.
And guess what? The way they talk about others tells you how they’ll behave when you won’t be around.
More often than not, people who gossip are fake friends, and as we saw earlier, that’s not the kind of people you want to spend your time with.
8. Controlling people
Every situation in life comes with a certain level of uncertainty, and human beings will respond to that according to their attitude and personality.
Some people tend to accept, or even be motivated by, uncertainty and/or unknowns.
Other people prefer to always gather as much information as possible so they can somehow control the outcome of what they do (or at least think they will).
But then there’s those who take it way further — control freaks.
And in the worst case scenario, their unhealthy way of dealing with the external world will lead them to try and control people as well.
Control freaks are unable to deal with anything that doesn’t match their own ideas; it makes them too anxious, and threatens their already fragile self-confidence.
Therefore they’ll criticize, judge, and try to change you whenever they’ll notice something they dislike or that’s not “right”.
This often translates to abuse and passive-aggressive behavior, and if you care about your mental health you must stay away from that.
9. Energy vampires
Besides food and sleep, most of us get energy from our hobbies and interests, our passions, the things we enjoy doing and the time spent with our loved ones.
Put simply, energy vampires are people who have learned to get energy from other people, and do so in a way that is unhealthy for both the vampire and the other person.
There are many different types of vampires, and some are more insidious than others.
Some tend to talk non-stop and bombard you with drama and all the latest horrible news, others will play victim and ask for help, and others will be abusive.
But the way you know someone is an energy vampire is always the same — if they feel better and you feel worse after you’ve met them, that’s clearly a red flag.
If you ever suspect one of your colleagues or even one of your friends or family members is doing this to you, you want to pay close attention to your physical symptoms as well as your state of mind right after you meet them, and that will tell you whether they are vampires or not.
For instance, if you yawn repeatedly, or experience sudden anxiety or stomach pains, those could be signs they are draining your energy.
No-brainer, right? Bullies are one of the worst types of energy vampires, and you shouldn’t let them take any of your energy.
We often associate the word bullying with schools, but the truth is that people like that can be found at work or even online, regardless of their age.
The way you deal with them depends on a lot of factors; sometimes it’s best to simply avoid them, while in other cases you want to be assertive and tell them to stop.
The key is to always be 100 percent honest with yourself and recognize them, and acknowledge that they are bullies (their behavior may be subtle at first, so it may take you a while).
Then, regardless of how you choose to deal with them, you want to be as emotionally detached as possible.
Remember, they are energy vampires, which means they feed off your mental and physical energy.
So the calmer and the more detached you are, the less power they’ll have over you.
11. Compulsive liars
Human beings lie a lot. Probably more often than you think.
However, that’s not necessarily a bad thing — most of the time we lie about trivial stuff, or for a good cause.
For example, we may tell someone they look great or exaggerate our reaction to their questions just because it has a positive impact on their self-image (or because we don’t want to hurt their feelings).
But then there’s compulsive liars — people who can’t function unless they lie, lie, and lie. As if it was their full-time job.
Besides being totally unreliable, these people make it impossible to form solid friendships and relationships.
Values like honesty, authenticity, and transparency are essential when it comes to interacting with others, and someone who can’t function unless he or she lies all the time simply lacks those qualities.
So when people lie, pay attention and notice how often they do that. In most cases, they’ll lie once in a while just like everybody else.
But if you ever spot a compulsive liar, avoid them like the plague.
12. Past versions of yourself
Are you the kind of person you used to be ten years ago?
The answer is probably a no, and that’s probably a good thing.
Although each of us has a unique personality and path in life, as we walk along that path we are supposed to grow and evolve.
And depending on which phase of our life we find ourselves in, there will be types of people that resonate with us, and types of people we are supposed to avoid or ignore.
So whenever you encounter past versions of yourself, or people who remind you of your past or old friends, you need to ask yourself whether they’re the right fit for you now.
What may have worked ten years ago doesn’t necessarily work today, and that applies to the people you spend time with, too.
And if you are consciously trying to forget the past and move on, then chances are that anything that reminds you of your past, or the past version of yourself, isn’t beneficial to you anyway.
13. Negative people
One of the greatest indicators of happiness is our own thoughts and what we choose to focus on.
If you tend to focus on the good, that usually results in better thoughts, feelings, and actions.
Do the opposite, and you get the opposite result.
Unfortunately, negativity is very contagious, so by spending too much time with people with a negative attitude, you are likely to pick up from them.
Never be afraid to avoid negative people and all those who give off negative vibes because, again, they can affect your thoughts subconsciously.
Your mental health is a priority and you simply can’t afford to spend time with those who can ruin it, whether they’re aware of it or not.
Surround yourself with positive people and ignore cynical pessimists at all costs.
14. Those who play victim
These are people that somehow fail to realize that they have control over their own life and emotions.
Something happens to them and they instantly assume there’s nothing they can do about it, that they’re so unlucky, that life isn’t fair.
Don’t get me wrong — life can be tough, and sooner or later we all have to deal with problems that are outside our control, and that definitely causes a lot of stress.
But still, it doesn’t justify the attitude of those who play victim.
Self-pity isn’t going to change someone’s situation; if anything, it can add even more stress.
Even worse, sometimes those who play victim will use their problems as a way to attract compassionate people and take advantage of their good nature.
We all go through tough times and in those cases, feeling sorry for ourselves can be a natural reaction, and it’s quite common.
But someone with a victim mentality — that’s a completely different story.
15. Stupid people
Not surprisingly, sometimes you want to avoid those who are… stupid, too.
We all have a different definition of stupidity, and not all stupid people are actually dangerous or annoying.
And some of them can even be excellent “small doses” friends.
But in general, you want to avoid people who are clearly stupid because in the long run, your relationship with them will almost always be a huge waste of time and energy.
When you talk to someone who doesn’t understand you or your ideas, there’s a lot of things you have to explain (or hide).
Which means you have to use a big part of your mental energy.
Plus, small talk can’t last forever, and if you feel you can’t have any kind of somewhat interesting conversation with the other person, that’s going to be quite frustrating.
As a general rule, avoid stupid people, and surround yourself with like-minded people who make it super easy for you to be yourself.
Types of people to avoid: summary
- Opportunists (very selfish and manipulative)
- Fake friends (they don’t add any value to your life)
- Jealous people (their relationships with others aren’t healthy)
- Losers (whatever your definition of “loser” is)
- Self-absorbed people (they’re a huge waste of time)
- Naysayers (they hinder your growth)
- Gossipers (they’ll gossip about you, too!)
- Control freaks (who try to control other people as well)
- Energy vampires (all types)
- Bullies (aggressive and passive-aggressive ones)
- Compulsive liars (they don’t know what honesty is)
- Past versions of yourself (if you are trying to move on)
- Pessimists (negativity is contagious)
- People with victim mentality (which is an acquired trait)
- Stupid people (especially if annoying or dangerous)
Is there a type of people you absolutely can’t stand? Leave a reply below and let me know 👇