Ever heard of lottery winners who ended up being in a worse financial situation one to two years after they got lucky?
What about those who meet the most amazing partner but then make up excuses as to why they are incompatible, and sabotage the relationship?
Or those who have a thousand reasons to celebrate life and all they have, and yet spend their time complaining about that one thing they don’t have?
Why does this happen? Surely it can’t be just bad luck (in the example of money), or extreme isolophilia (when it comes to relationships).
There must be a root cause, an invisible yet very powerful factor that turns people into their own worst enemy, so they sabotage their own success.
One of the possible reasons is an inability to receive, which I have discussed in a previous article. But even that doesn’t address the root issue.
Self-worth determines what you deserve
Surprisingly, it all boils down to how you perceive yourself and whether you think you are worthy of what life offers you.
Do you think you deserve the best? Then life gives it to you, and you are ready to accept it without a second thought.
Do you think you don’t deserve much? Then even when life is generous enough to give you a taste of a better life, you turn it down.
Keep in mind, this happens subconsciously. Our mind has the same unhelpful thoughts over and over again, and we behave the same way over and over again.
And we believe someone or something else is the cause of our own emptiness. It never occurs to us that the issue is within.
That’s not to say that things like social conditioning, your family, childhood, etc. never play a role. We all know they do.
But as long as you blame others for your own low self-esteem or self-worth, you will never have the power to turn things around.
Assume responsibility and know that you always deserve the best, even when your mind tells you you don’t.
Why you deserve the best
1. Guilt is toxic
Guilt is a natural emotion, just like happiness and sadness, motivation and fear, delight and frustration, etc.
The issue is that the emotion we call guilt is, 99 percent of the time, not spontaneous guilt itself but rather an artificial feeling.
For example, many feel guilty if, from the moment they wake up until they go to bed, they are perfectly happy.
There is a threshold of happiness inside them that tells them what is acceptable and what isn’t, and causes feelings of guilt.
Logically, this is absurd. Feeling guilty for being in a good mood? Yet it probably happened to you as well.
You have no idea how much (toxic) guilt affects our decisions in life and our ability to feel that we deserve the best.
2. You get what you choose
You attract what you think. You manifest what you are. You are what you do. You’ve probably heard these phrases hundreds of times.
Here’s an interesting alternative — in life, you get what you choose. What if success was as simple as the decision to be successful?
Keep in mind, this implies you have to choose both the end result and the (usually very time-consuming) process that’s going to get you there.
So, not that easy anyway. But still, food for thought. You first choose what you want to get in life, then you actually get it.
You deserve the best simply because you have the ability to choose the best. No one can stop you from doing that.
3. Normality isn’t normal
Want to change the world you live in? The first step is to reject what everybody else thinks about normality and create your own version of it.
Think: in a world/environment in which everyone knows they deserve the absolute best, wouldn’t it be normal to have the same standards?
If the highest level of joy, happiness, fulfillment, and self-realization was part of normality, wouldn’t the average person be happier?
The truth is that normality is nothing more than a concept, and if you are serious about living an amazing life you want to challenge normality.
Happiness itself is a good example. How can you be happy if normality doesn’t allow you to be happy?
You always deserve the best, yet if you look around you, you may get the feeling that you’re a little too ambitious. Look within instead.
4. Be, do, have
Reason number four as to why you deserve the absolute best: it is dreams and desires that lead to a certain type of life, and not vice versa.
Ever heard of the be, do, have model? The idea is that what you want is first and foremost a state of being, then actions, then results.
To get the best in life you have to know, deep inside your heart, that you deserve it. That’s the first step.
You often don’t get what you deserve, and don’t deserve what you get. But you very often get what you think you deserve — your mindset and state of being.
In other words, life rarely gives you what you want unless you first accept it as the most legitimate scenario.
5. Inspiring others
Last but certainly not least, you deserve the best because although living the best life might seem selfish, it actually contributes to the well being of others as well.
Remember when I mentioned that each of us has a threshold of happiness and a certain idea of what “normality” looks and feels like?
Well, why not show them that it’s possible to live a better life? Not just with words, but with your own life as an example?
By allowing yourself to go for the best, you automatically give others permission to do the same.
Your own light will illuminate the life of those around you as long as they are willing to change the way they think.
You deserve the best: quotes
It’s a funny thing about life: if you refuse to accept anything but the best, you very often get it.W. Somerset Maugham
The minute you settle for less than you deserve, you get even less than you settled for.Maureen Dowd
God serves the choosy; they know what to want.Maxine Kumin
The word “no” is a great time saver. Say no to anything that is not the highest and best use of your time.Brian Tracy
I deserve the best and I accept the best now.Louise Hay
Don’t go for good, or better. The best is yours; go for it.Israelmore Ayivor
Never settle for less than your dreams. Somewhere, sometime, someday, somehow, you will find them.Danielle Steel
Yes, I deserve a spring — I owe nobody nothing.Virginia Woolf